Everything Hurts and I'm Dying - Long Sleeve T-Shirt Color:Royal Crawling through five hundred yards

Crawling through five hundred yards of sewage is a bold exit strategy

Teal cursive script reads "Canoe Rentals" above distressed teal block text reading "PADDLES NOT INCLUDED

Inspired by Groundhog Day

a firecracker illustration displays red and white horizontal stripes on its body

orbital ring

Everything Hurts and I'm Dying - Long Sleeve T-Shirt Color:Royal Crawling through five hundred yardsPutting "Everything Hurts and I'm Dying" in varsity letterman script means physical deterioration finally has a team logo. Somewhere a whole roster of people over 30 just stood up too fast and felt deep squad pride. The Details: Arched distressed white block text reads "EVERYTHING" across the top. Large flowing white cursive script reads "Hurts" below, with a baseball style swoosh tail extending from the lettering. Bold distressed white uppercase text